Whimsey Woodchip No. 1:  Time flies when you are having fun.  Fruit Flies like a banana.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 2:  I just found out I am colorblind.  The news came out of the purple.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 3:  I hate my job.  All I do is crush cans all day.  It's soda pressing.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 4:  I love dad jokes.  Since I am not a dad, does that make me a faux pa?

Whimsey Woodchip No. 5:  I do not trust stairs.  They are always up to something.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 6:  I dreamed I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.  I woke up and thought 0 mg.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 7:  It's raining cats and dogs today.  Be sure not to setp in a poodle.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 8:  What does the computer say to it's father.  Data. 

Whimsey Woodchip No. 9:  What do you call a beehive with no exit.  Unbelievable.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 10:  What is the best thing about Switzerland?  I don't know but it's flag is a big plus!

Whimsey Woodchip No. 11:  Why are balloons so expensive? Inflation!

Whimsey Woodchip No. 12:  What is the best time for a dentist appointment?  Tooth hurty.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 13:  How does the moon cut it's hair?  Eclipse it.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 14:  Why can you never run through a campsite?  You can only ran because it's always past tents.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 15:  What do you call a hippie's wife.  Mississippi.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 16:  When does a joke become a dad joke?  When it's apparent.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 17:  I'm afraid for the calendar.  It's days are numbered.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 18:  To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office.  I will find you.  You have my word!

Whimsey Woodchip No. 19:  Why do you need two pairs of socks when golfing?  In case you get a hole in one!

Whimsey Woodchip No. 20:  I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes.  It turns out it was the refrigerator!

 Whimsey Woodchip No. 21:  What is a factory that makes "ok" products?  A satisfactory.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 22:  What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?  Supplies!  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 23:  What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing.  It just waved.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 24:  What does baby corn say to mama corn? Where's popcorn?

Whimsey Woodchip No. 25:  Why did the pony ask for a glass of water?  It was a little horse.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 26:  Did you hear about the cold dinner?  It was chili.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 27:  Why did the deer go to the dentist?  It had buck teeth!

Whimsey Woodchip No. 28:  A cheese factory exploded in France.  De brie was everywhere!

Whimsey Woodchip No. 29:  How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?  Ten tickles.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 30:  I had a date last night and it was perfect.  Tonight, I think I will have a grape.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 31:  Justice is a dish best served cold.  Otherwise, it would be just ice.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 32:  It was such an emotional wedding.  Even the cake was in tiers.

 Whimsey Woodchip No. 33:  Dogs can't operation MRI machines.  But cats can!

Whimsey Woodchip No. 34:  Why did Waldo go to therapy?  To find himself!

Whimsey Woodchip No. 35:  I have an inferiority complex.  But it's a really small one.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 36:  The vacuum cleaner is getting old.  It's just gathering dust.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 37:  Why did the thief shower before robbing the bank?  He wanted to make a clean getaway.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 38:  What do lawyers wear to work?  Law suits.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 39:  Why was the traffic light late for work?  It took too long to change.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 40:  Why do hamburgers go south for the winter? So they don't freeze their buns.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 41:  Why didn't the sun go to college.  It already has a million degrees.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 42:  Why did the little strawberry cry?  It's mother was in a jam.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 43:  Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?  It was stuck in a crack.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 44:  What do you get from a pampered cow?  Spoiled milk.  

 Whimsey Woodchip No. 45:  Why did the whale blush?  It saw teh ocean's bottom.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 46:  Why can't you trust an atom?  They make up everything!

Whimsey Woodchip No. 47:  I tried to buy a pair of camouflage pants.  I couldn't find any at the store. 

Whimsey Woodchip No. 48:  Why did the tomato blush?  It saw salad dressing.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 49:  Reserved

Whimsey Woodchip No. 50:  Why are pigs bad drivers?  They hog the road. 

Whimsey Woodchip No. 51:  I used to be a banker.  I guess I just lost interest. 

Whimsey Woodchip No. 52:  I am so good at sleeping.  I can do it with my eyes closed. 

Whimsey Woodchip No. 53:  Why did the police arrest the turkey?  They suspected foul play.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 54:  What do computers eat for snacks?  Microchips.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 55:  How do frogs invest their money?  They use a stock croaker.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 56:  Did you hear about the whale that swallowed a clown?  He said it tasted funny.

 Whimsey Woodchip No. 57:  What do you call a fly with a sore throat?  A horse fly.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 58:  Why do birds fly south for the winter?  Because it is too far to walk.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 59:  Why did the poodle buy a clock?  It wanted to be a watch dog.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 60:  Why did the tailor get fired?  He wasn't a good fit.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 61:  What do you call fake spaghetti.  Impasta!

Whimsey Woodchip No. 62:  How does Darth Vader like his bagels?  On the dark side.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 63:  Where should you never take your dog.  To a flea market.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 64:  Why did the snowman buy a bag of carrots?  He wanted to pick his nose.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 65:  What do you call a sheep that knows karate?  A lam chop.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 66:  What do you call a locomotive hauling bubble gum?  A chew chew train.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 67:  What happens when ice cream gets angry?  It has a meltdown.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 68:  Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?  Because then it would be a foot.

 Whimsey Woodchip No. 69:  When two vegans get into an argument, is it still called a beef?

Whimsey Woodchip No. 70:  Do you wanna box for your leftovers?  Nope.  I'd prefer to wrestle for them.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 71:  The car looks nice, but the muffler looks exhausted.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 72: I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think I'd get a reaction.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 73:  What is someone with no body and a big nose? Nobody knows.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 74:  What time do ducks wake up?  At the quack of down.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 75:  Where do young trees go to learn?  ElemenTree School.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 76:  Why do bees have sticky hair?  They use a honeycomb.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 77:  What is an astronaut's favorite computer part?  The space bar.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 78:  Why are elevator jokes so funny?  They work on so many levels?

Whimsey Woodchip No. 79:  Which state has the most roads?  Rhode Island.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 80:  Is the pool safe for diving?  It deep ends.

 Whimsey Woodchip No. 81:  Why are piggy banks so wise?  They are filled with common cents.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 82:  Why is Peter Pan always flying?  He Neverlands.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 83:  How do you tell if a tree is a Dogwood Tree?  By the bark.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 84: What do you call a hot dog on wheels?  Fast food.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 85:  Did you hear about the circus fire?  It was in tents!

Whimsey Woodchip No. 86:  What do you call cheese that isn't yours.  Nacho cheese.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 87:  What do you call a belt made of watches?  A waist of time.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 88:  Mountains aren't just funny.  They are hill areas.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 89:  What is the best smelling insect?  A Deodor Ant.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 90:  Have you ever tried to catch fog?  I tried once, but I mist.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 91:  How do you make a kleenex dance?  Put a little boogie in it.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 92:  What did one wall say to the other?  I will meet you at the corner.

 Whimsey Woodchip No. 93:  What has more letters than the alphabet?  The post office.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 94:  Why don't eggs tell jokes?  They would crack eachoterh up.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 95: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?  It was two tired.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 96: Why did the drum go to bed?  It was beat.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 97:  What did the plate say to the other?  Dinner is on me tonight.

Whimsey Woodchip No. 98:  Did you hear about the guy that was afraid of hurdles?  He got over it. 

Whimsey Woodchip No. 99:  What did one volcano say to the other?  I lava you.  

Whimsey Woodchip No. 100:  Where does Santa stay on vacation?  At the Ho Ho Hotel.